Pray in Dreams

Okay,
This is a stretch for me. I like to say things I can prove, defend, or get people to agree with me on. But I was just praying while I watched the sun set, and so many thoughts filled my mind.
All day long I have had the thought that I don't really understand God. Even the things about God I would have said were concrete yesterday seem fragile today because I can't answer the how and why questions. I don't understand God. (I'm aware this isn't a revelation, but God gave me some clarity today.)
Like I said, I like to think in concrete, irrefutable ways. So I love to imagine Heaven, a world not unlike this one only real and unchanging!
I looked up into the trees as the sun set. The leaves swayed in unison as if directed by a conductor. And I thought, "How is it that God turns everything into good? How can He make wonder from death? How did He make it so that coming autumn and soon death of all these leaves made the moment all the more wonderful to me?" Even the brevity of my own life made the moment more awesome and my longing greater.
Isn't He wonderful... complex, transcendent! How is Heaven going to be better? What is the wonder of a life with no death or ending? What are my vacant hillsides going to be like with no weeds or imperfections? What is life going to be like when I'm not married? What is an eternity without sex going to be like.
Lost in my moment of wonder, I began to see how it might be fascinating and wonderful. Thinking about how little I know about God reminded me of the early days with Heidi. It was the furthest thing from boring. It was exciting, enthralling. I couldn't get enough, and I couldn't wait for more. ...And there was no sex. While that is an incredibly weak example... so is this whole world. I can't wait for the real thing.
Come Lord Jesus, Soon!