I'm asking for consideration and forgiveness.

So Heidi has had a lot of people ask her if she wants their stuff that they're not going to use any more. They're thinking she could sell it and make money to get us to Mali. She is good at that, and she's a hard worker so she always says yes, but she also tries to explain that we need people to commit to supporting us. Our mission decides if we can leave for the field based on those commitments. I can't think of anyone who has first offered us stuff and then decided to commit to pray for us or support us financially. Though it has happened the other way around: people supported us and then came up with different ways to help us raise one time funds.
So... Here's what went through my head. Why don't you just make a commitment to us and not buy things you don't need or use. If it's a numbers game (and it's not) it would take less than a $7/mo commitment from each person on our mailing list to put us on the field. Better yet, commit to pray for us regularly. Jesus said that where your treasure is your heart will be also. He was certainly talking about money. But if you commit to pray for something, you will also grow to treasure it.
There is a battle in every believer between the person he or she used to be and the person you are with Christ in your life. I am compelled to help people win that battle. We need to obey what Jesus told us to do. We need to cut ourselves free from the things we used to love. We are Jesus bride, and He will not tolerate other lovers. In Luke 16, Jesus expressly said, "Sell your possessions, and give to the poor." It will be painful, but it's a good pain, a healing pain, a pain that will make us healthier and more alive. Giving up things we love is the draining of a wound, the cleansing of a burn. It's removing the old dead flesh that is still clinging to us.
Romans 8:13 For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live,
2 Corinthians 4:10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

I was recently reading a church website in the section about how they support missions. They said, "There are goers, senders, and the disobedient." I'm still thinking that over in light of scripture, but it rings true to me.
Here is where I need forgiveness. In that moment of thinking about selling things to raise our support, I let myself forget God and picture California soccer moms as the source of the support we need. I know that God is never late. He will take us to Mali when He wants to. We are striving to be attentive and obedient to Him every step of the way. And there is no room for me to question the motives of other people. Forgive me for taking my eyes off Christ and letting division creep in among the family of believers.